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HeroicStories #840: You Are Not Alone
Reaching more than 37,000 subscribers in 118 countries, this is...
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HeroicStories #840: 22 December 2011 www.HeroicStories.org
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You Are Not Alone Story Editor:
by Lucy Hanouille Joyce Schowalter
Texas, USA
My father died when I was twenty years old. Up until his death, I
had never told anyone of his illness or the suffering that our
family had endured for the past fifteen years. It was the family
secret -- we learned well not to discuss it.
Death sometimes has a way of revealing secrets. I was encouraged to
take the news of my loss to the Assistant Dean of my art school,
Doris Kinsella.
Doris was, in my opinion, one of the world's best listeners. I found
myself pouring my heart out to her. She listened, gave advice and
encouraged me to stay in school and in counseling.
As I left her office, she pointed down the hall at another girl I
knew and liked and said, "See that girl? She lost her father this
weekend. Heart attack. Very sudden, very unexpected."
That was all she said. But from that moment, I looked for that other
girl. If she was working in the studio, I worked. If she was going
to classes, I went. I couldn't imagine how it felt to lose someone
so quickly; I admired her courage. Having known my father was
dying... if she could keep going, I could, too.
At the school year's end, the other student, "Alice" and I were
talking. We shared our deep respect for Doris and the comfort she
had brought to our lives in this difficult year.
Alice then told me her story. She also had been encouraged to see
Doris when her father died. She also found a deep, thoughtful,
compassionate listener in Doris. Doris had suggested grief
counseling and encouraged her to stay in school.
When they walked out of her office together, Doris pointed towards
me and said, "See that girl? Her father just died after 15 long
years of illness. No one really knows what made him ill."
After that, Alice looked for me every day. If I was working in the
studio, she worked in the studio. If she saw me going to classes,
she went to classes. Alice said she couldn't imagine how it must
have felt to live with the inevitability of death for so long. We
both agreed that it didn't matter how the loss occurred -- it still
hurt deeply.
In that way, without even speaking, we kept each other in school. We
kept each other going. With one simple sentence, Doris kept us both
in school.
We lost Doris to cancer almost 20 years ago, but her kindness and
her love for me as a student and person have stayed with me to this
day. I realize now that the lesson she taught me, by her simple
statements, has been a guiding light keeping me going through the
hard times in my life. No matter how alone depression or PTSD made
me feel, I knew I was not alone after all.
Her words made all the difference in my life.
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HeroicStories salutes the greatest people in the world:
Our Readers
You Continually Inspire Us
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"In the Hearts of Mankind" (#839) is Bruce McCormick's story of the
kindness of his neighbors, friends, and strangers when his family's
house burned one winter's night.
Murray from Saskatchewan, Canada was moved: "Just read this story.
THAT'S why I subscribe to your wonderful newsletter. This story
struck me deeper than other tales because it wasn't 'one on one'.
The unceasing barrage of misery from the media has put this grinchy
kernel of cynicism in me. While I'm cheering the stories, that
kernel mutters 'Well, sure, one person is a good sort and helps the
story writer. Hardly statistically significant. Everyone else
sucks.' I have a lot of internal debates. 'In the Hearts of Mankind'
from Mr. McCormick told of an entire community, dozens of people,
being decent and caring. Strangers definitely not sucking. That shut
the grinchy little kernel up while making me nearly tear up."
Lauri in Oklahoma adds another comment about carolers spreading
cheer in a most profound way: "Following a Hunch" (#838). "The story
of 'Santa' following a hunch was a powerful message for any time of
the year. We've become such an insulated nation of people -- it's
good to be reminded to check on those who are alone to make sure
they are OK." (The full version of this story is on our archives:
http://heroicstories.com/archives.html .)
Let us know what you think, especially about today's story. We're
still collecting suggestions regarding stories previously published
that you'd like to see publish again. And of course, we'd love to
hear *your* Heroic Story. Sent comments, stories, or support via the
address below. And keep your eyes peeled for one more issue this
holiday season. Until then, thanks for all your wonderful comments
and support.
Joyce Schowalter, Networker in Chief
*** and John in Maryland
Co-Conspirators to Make the World a Better Place
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